| if you read my past xanga entries, it kinda seems like i'm bipolar. hahaa ook.
so the other day i was talking to a friend that i've known since i was 9. who came back from uc santa cruz to visit family and such. it was so weird talking to him, just because we've all changed so much. like everyone has. he was weirded out by the fact that i'm.. me. now. as almost a junior in high school because he knew me when i was like 4 ft tall and in elementary school. time goes by way too quickly.
and so we talked about college, marriage, our friends, life and he brought up an interesting point. "i can't wait to leave here, the world is screwed up, the way i see it, everything is downhill from here". i guess in his neighborhood (south berkeley?) there's been a couple shootings in the past few weeks. and what he said just shook my outlook on life. it was kind of scary. this kid had always had a positive view on things, he was always optimistic. but people change. and more importantly, things change, in turn causing people to change. the world changes. and recently, not for the better. is it true that the world is going downhill? i mean, "peaceful" is not a word that you'd ever use to describe the world today.
which got me thinking as i walked home that day. here i am, stressing out about every little thing and worrying about why some boy hasn't called me or why this person doesn't like me. and when i look back, the last few years, like 8th-10th grade, have gone by soo fast. and when i think of all the times i stressed out over stupid little things, or lost sleep over situations that i never thought i'd be able to get over, i just wish i could've seen the bigger picture. since the world is going downhill and everything is chaotic nowadays, people need to live these days to the fullest, and not worry about miniscule things. have fun while you can. it seems almost depressing, but it's true. there are bigger things happening out there. the world does not revolve around you, therefore the small things that happen are not as significant as we make them out to be. if you're really lucky enough to see the bigger picture, then you'll know that it doesn't make sense to dwell on things or hold grudges because with everything that's going on in the world, no one should be stuck on petty arguments about stupid things.
you really need to get as much as you can out of the world while things are still ok and while we're still alive! and i need to stop wasting energy and losing sleep stressing over stupid things and people. the world is happening. i need to look up and realize that i am not the center of the universe. so some guy said something to me. it's not important!! there are bigger things happening in the world, in the universe. what was that spiderman quote again? i think that's what i'm trying to say. but i need to realize that these little things that i'm worrying about are not at all significant. these things come and go, but it's important to realize that they go. and i probably won't even remember them in a few weeks. so don't trip. because then you'll fall. |
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| last night was definitely the highlight of my week.
i love berkeley summers.
i love sneaking into swimming pools at 2 in the morning.
i wouldn't say that last night was amazing or incredible or anything but it was definitely an experience. and i wish i remembered more.
it was one of those nights that you'd want to remember at the end of summer when you're looking back, capturing those moments again.
i love the idea of teenagers.
i love summer.
♥ |
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| i'm not sure about this, like at all. but it's better than nothing right?
i guess we'll see.
ediiiiit:
HEY GUESS WHAT??? I SAW, AND IT WAS ALLLLL BAD. LEVI YOU FUCKING JERK, THANKS FOR MAKING THINGS SO MUCH WORSE FOR ME THAN THEY NEED TO BE RIGHT NOW. |
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